You'll just never know

It's getting pretty fast paced around here, people leaving, opportunities bouncing back and forth. The wrong kind of decisions. And just when you feel utmost contentment (because you honestly really can't complain) in your surroundings you get jolted by reality and you come it.

Become what exactly? What's the right terminology? Your destiny becomes you. Change never actually sounded that enticing anyway. You know those moments that you just like thinking about the concept of change in general but you never really anticipate it in reality because in a way you really are happy the way you are right now and then it suddenly comes back to haunt your sorry ass and you contemplate between dreams and adjusting again to a new environment.

How unbecoming. I wish I could just scrap out all emotions and but I never was good at that. My emotions are my ally and although I'm good at hiding it, I sometimes can't seem to control it and it gets the best of me. I'm just plain scared I guess.

It's testing me again and this time I don't want to turn away because God is definitely pushing it this time and who am I to complain? Thy will be done. Life is beginning to look a bit more complicated...

D e C i S i O n S
Back from Cebu and still feeling ever so the same in a different kind of way. Yup, ambitions soaring but not that high as I normally felt when I was still in college. Perhaps just a little edgy and slightly hopeful of things to come. I guess for me ms gina was that silent mentor. She always knew the right things to say. Unlike some other life forms I unfortunately know. Yes, regret comes always in the end. Alas, There's nothing else I could do to change anything so nevermind. As for Sir, he was the ever forceful mentor. A delight to gaze upon but such huge shoes to fill in. I am thankful I was able to meet these two incredible individuals even only for a short time. The only thing is that until now I can't seem to find others like them. Isn't that sad or just plain pathetic? I guess it's what you might call a travesty. When I'm ready I'll know.I hope and then I'll finally understand.

SHORT SENTIMENTS
8/27/02

Hush blush touch

Deep down inside my yearning heart

Glow hold stare

Endlessly be drowned

Please plead lead

Dare not break me

Lie awake take me away